May 28, 2005 Newsletter
Dear Friends,
May this find you in a place of unconditional love, joy, and empowerment!
I will be in Portland, OR, June 3 - 5, and in San Francisco, CA, June 15-29.
Please contact me if you would like to see me for some energy work sessions or
Reiki training in person during those times. Of course, I can always provide
distance sessions/trainings at other times. Please note that I will be out of
the country (Bangkok, Ladakh, Nepal ???... ) continuing my path as the gypsy
wizard from June 29 through Dec 7, 2005.
My travels go well, a bit tiring at times, finding that balance of nurturing
myself yet accepting what is provided. I was watching "Touching the Void", an
amazing story of empowerment and survival of a mountain climbing adventure, and
one of the climbers describes his experience of seeing visions of all aspects
and part of his life swirling about as he completes a self rescue after 4 days
crawling down the mountain with a broken leg. And I thought, "gee, my life
seems like that all the time!" My departure from San Francisco nearly a year
ago continued a grand spiritual vision quest. I seek to trust a supportive
universe unconditionally, and integrate my/our abilities to recreate reality in
a heartbeat. To trust that we might follow our spirit/passion and trust in an
abundant supportive universe. Unconditional love, joy, and empowerment.
Sexually transmitted love and joy. Unconditional fun. Peace.
I see what holds others back. I see the stories that they tell themselves that
keep them from healing. joy, empowerment. I get stuck in my own crappy stories.
I pray. I swirl between the realities and get dizzy. My hands tingle with
Reiki. I forget who I want to be. I remember who I was. Raking hay with a
horse. Raking hay with a tractor.
The other night, my Aunt was talking about "my plans" and how I'd "come back to
reality [Dec 7 when I return from Bankok]" She shifted into talking about a 34
yo cousin who is in the midst of major transformations. So I didn't get to tell
her that this is all "reality" to me. This is all a "dream" for that matter.
Whether a faerie gathering, a native american spiritual event, building a
house, seeing clients, bike messengering, farming, painting.... there is no one
more real than the other. Just a different reality at a different time. I have
no plan. I don't know what I am doing. I have a wisp of a vision of being some
nomadic healer travelling the world. It seems to be me. When I remember it
seems to be a way of me learning to manifest water when I am thirsty, and money
when I am out, and trusting that if I feel my spirit calls me to walk over
there or kiss that man, that that path will answer my prayers and intentions,
whether logical or not. When I forget, I wonder what I am doing, why I don't
have a home, and I fear scarcity. I run up against my aloneness, fight it,
embrace it. Then I remember the gypsy wizard until I forget again.
The journey is working me and working well! hehe Clients pop up though I barely
remember to remind folks I am coming to their town. Money flows out. And out of
nowhere money flows in. I delve into my deepest patterns that I seek to shed. I
rise and fall like a Phoenix on acid. I am learning to be present and empowered
and joyful in all conditions.
Here are some things I've been learning:
Recently during my travels I was at a gathering and there was some intestinal
detoxification going around. Some were attaching the story of food poisoning to
the symptoms. (Personally, I saw it more as a cleansing and realigning of
folks' third chakras... accepting love and joy rather than rejecting it.) And
so it came that I witnessed one of the gathering attendees who likes to help
cook going on a rant about the situation. He felt that the kitchen was not up
to his standards. He had offered to teach a course on kitchen hygiene and food
safety, but apparently had not been taken up on his offer. He had different
opinions of food handling safety than others. Since others were not following
his advice, he said "I offered to teach them, but they weren't interested and
insist on [handling food a certain way]...well they can go ahead get sick ....
and die [of food poisoning] for all I care." I sat there a bit aghast. I
thought to myself, "What an awful intention to hold. Why would anyone hold such
a prayer?" And I sat thinking about what an awful reality he was choosing with
his judgments, thoughts, and words. I thought, "Why doesn't he pray that he is
wrong, that people be healthy in spite of what he deems as bad food handling
practice?" I remained a bit in shock. Having trained him in Reiki I years ago,
I wondered why he even believed in food poisoning. Once you have Reiki training
and have the experience of feeling energy and doing nothing buy laying your
hands on someone and having them feel better, I wonder why anyone would worry
about disease? (Of course, I've been known to worry about it myself from time
to time... old habits die hard when they don't die quickly sometimes.) And then
it hit me, that I was no better in judging him and shackling him and others to
being affected by his thoughts and judgments. I prayed for everyone's health
and joy. I wished I had said something to him or others who sat nodding their
heads affirming his statements.
It was later I got to witness ways of affirming our centers in the midst of
others. I was eating breakfast across from another man eating his breakfast
while several others talked. One fellow in particular began to rant about a
former employer who he thought had taken advantage of him. He was going on
about this past drama and talking angrily. I found myself thinking that this
wasn't the best atmosphere for digestion. I found myself witnessing this man
take himself into a bad frame of mind by retelling this past story. Not wanting
to offer opinions where they were not ased for, I put my tongue on the roof of
my mouth and remained neutral. The man across from me soon spoke up: "This
conversation is rather upsetting to my digestion. You are saying some harsh
things about this person that we don't really know." The angry man apologized
and the conversation shifted.
"Aha!", I thought, "that's a good way to keep your center and help anchor a
different reality!" The wellspoken man anchored his words within his feelings
in the present. By focusing on our experience in the present, we can offer
words to help shift and anchor a different reality. For instance, I witnessed
an elderly man making some blanket statement about life deteriorating with age,
and another man said, "that's not the way I see it." Simple! It's not about us
versus them or right and wrong, but really about us speaking for ourselves and
remembering who we choose to be. And realizing that all of us have our gifts to
express. And most importantly, a few gentle words can help us remember the
reality we are choosing.
A few weeks ago I was stuck in a pattern of depression and frustration trying
to make travel plans and having trouble finding what I thought I was looking
for. Every morning I would awake and think, "Uggh, back to the grind again." I
usually would find once I got going, my attitude would shift. Yet, it all
seemed very frustrating. Finally one day I remembered to pray: for clarity, for
joy, for empowerment, for ease. I talked to a dear friend and told of my
frustrations. After I got off the phone, I felt much better. I felt her prayers
and Reiki via distance. I prayed for myself. And the next day, every thing
seemed much easier! It's easy for us to become stuck in our old patterns and
become victims to them. And yet, if we would just step back and remember
who/how we would like to be and ask for help, it can all shift in a heartbeat!
www.kleiwerks.com   Great workshops! Great lively buildings!
"One should never never doubt
what nobody is sure about!"
--Willy Wonka